Sunday, July 25, 2010

To be forgiven or not to be?


To be , or not to be is the question :)

You are the one to answer as per your views whats right n whats wrong :)

It so so seems that there was once upon a time a stupid boy ... well not exactly stupid in that sense , but still stupid , he wasnt so aware of the world because he never cared much about the world. I have seen people who all got ambitions and dreams to fulfill , but he never had any , can you imagine? A boy with no dreams to be anything , i really font know why he was so , but he was so i wish i knew the reason ..... there are time as small kids that you wish i wanna be so n so , for eg i wanna be a police man n beat up everyone :P etc hehe as you see in films , in those lil infant ages you are bound to be inspired by such stuff that you see on tv :) Maybe he had something like he wanted to be a racer .... as in F1 .......
Leave the past ..... the main thing here is not about his past or so , but still just giving you background info ... :P ....anyway coming to the 21st century ......
he loved computers n electronic gadgets i think , it so seemed ....
his parents would always say your wasting your life in front of that stupid thing just pushing a car forward, n what do you gain by doing that???
does that question have an answer?
i dunt think he had any , or maybe he was just to scared to say out hes just playing for fun , but then its his fault only , he plays too long , so he deserved it ......
and well when he got internet facilities he used most of it to watch videos n songs n movies , till actually knowing about social networking sites ......
keep in mind , he wasnt so so a social being as in the society as he was afraid , he always kept himself to himself n never used to talk to strangers unless someone wanted 2 talk to him , even so , its weird that most of the time when people ask him his name ,he just replies n doesnt even bother to ask their names back , ie in most of the cases , at times he does but usually nopes .
So when he heard of this.... he wants to show the world through it that he exists ......
so he joined up ..... not one a lotta them but then in the end sticks only with 2 of them ......

He made lots of friends , but neveh had a chance to meet any of them even once in real life ........
he really wanted to meet them but they were all too far away ......
he had lots of freinds but oly a few got close to him cause he let only the ones who wanted to share their feelings with him get close as he too wanted 2 share with them , thinkin its not good to tell to people who aint intrested ......

......he had many friends over the years , n somehow got closer only to people who came to him....
there is 1 really weird thing ya know .....he hate love n love stories n the word marriage , just cause when he was younger his parents used to say will get him married off n so n so n it all made him hate that thing , n as he grew up he really hated it more n more cause of his observant nature n seeing how happy people are alone , you dont really need to be in a relationship to be happy if you got friends who can keep you happy always , esp a true friend who always shares all his/her problems to you :)
Anyway in one of these sites,he found how good people can be n so tried to find out what it was really like , but his 1st experience left him totally broken,he never wanted 2 be in it again , n he was sure that nothing will last again for him, he saw many people , n he never realised that lots of people loved him,or did he? i dunno if he knew or not, maybe he just dint want that to happen, cause for him his friends n their happiness was most important,he hated to loose anything thats important for him, n he considers his friends as most important ,n when his friends left him,he always felt broken .... the memories of th good times he had in the past with them haunts him always ......
So when he ackonwledged that he was in love with some1, he found that someone else loved him , n well what could he do ?? the worst thing of it was, he was sure that, this relation will never last , n worst case he wasnt even so sure if there actually was any relation in it at all , how stupid na? But then there used to be a concept in him , that if you fall in love with your best friends ,you may end up loosing them too,n he never wanted that to happen .....So it went on .....
then that relation dissolved slowly ..... n he was sure it was over ...... but .he was sure of the existence of it only when she told him ...... its over now ..... .n he told her that they can still be best friends n prove that statement of people wrong, " Friendship often ends up in love n never the other way " , so it turned up so that he managed to make something happen .....,but was there really an relationship??
thats another question at you :)
Then time passed by he has 1 really awesome best friend , they both were like so so besties :) , he musta been a stupid, it seems ,if he lost her , someone like her , so precious :)
They only one who really cared other than his bro n sister ... :)
but he took her like his best friend only , it so happened that she had once left him when she had a bf n went, but she did come back , n he dint hesitate to accept her back as his best friend , thats how he was :)
the forgiving nature is what was always the best thing in him , even though lot of enemies exploited that of him ,he still has that forgiving nature , if you ask him why , he would say ," You will only realize the situation when you are in that position" .......yeh really :) , you will only realize , it applies only for the people who really wanna prove their innocence or really wanna change :)
think of some 1 who has always been bad , eg Angulimala ...... remember?
he used to be a bandit ...... till he met Buddha deva , after that he changed na , but the people wer not willing to accept him or forgive him for his mistakes ,...... imagine that situation, then you will realize better :) .....
And he sees good in everyone no matter how bad they treat him , he believes that people can change for the good , n he always gives them a chance to prove themselves, but people misuse :) still he remains himself only :)
Yet he is illy n sensitive , a bit too sensitive , when lots of problems come to him together, no matter how small they are , he really gets tensed up n keeps them in mind n blows them up like a balloon n then explodes due to the pressure on him , i wish i could help him control his this silly nature .....
there are somethings that hurt him very fast n some that he dont care about.....
.....
n the second time ...... he was with her, there came another girl, who was just doing something that usually only a boy does, n that is proposing w/o no reason :O , aww shucks really :O
m shocked , he was aswell , there was a probability that it could be a boy or a girl trying to play with him , .... at that instant of proposal he was too shocked n accepted without even thinking a word, how silly na ...... then later on he thought about n thought to undo this , tried to tell him/her that he wasnt interested in that right now n that they could just remain as best friends , she was too adamant , u know like a boy .....
i usually see these kinda stuff done by boys , saying she would kill herself if she doesnt get her , he was scared , so he suppresed his feelings n agreed , yet he tried to get out of it for 1 month , no use he failed badly ........ so it went on .......
n his best friend was pissed of it i guess , he dint realise it . he was too dumb nah.....
he was trying to find a way out of it , then the only relief in his acceptance was that , she had told him she was a school girl in last year ,so he was kinda expecting her to leave him anyway when she joins college n thought of her proposal as a childs play by an immature lil girl , he never really considered it as 1 that was goin to go on , ..during this time ....., there were lots of quarrels b/w him n his best friend , he really dint know wat to say to her , he took out all the anger on her :( poor girl , i feel so sad for her, how could he do like this??? was he right??? he told her that he could only take his anger on her cause shes his best fren , yet .. one day she left , maybe cause it was too much for her , .....
maybe she loved him so much ... n he was a stupid talkin to her about another girl :(
will someone be able to stand this??
he never realized it :( sad anh
i really wish to kill him if i could get him , loosing a best friend for no reason .....
what did she do to deserve this??
was it her fault that she loved him ??
was it his fault that he dint realize her love??
or was it that,he dint wanna be in a relation with her so that he never lost her ??
who knows what was in his mind , he really lost her na .......
will she ever forgive him for his mistakes??
she must have moved on ..... must have got a new bf , cause she that good
but he wants to apologize n wants his best friend with him once again
will she forgive him ??? or will she just ignore ??
as per human nature , very few people really forgive .... like he does....
he never keeps any hatred towards anyone ,n never seeks revenge cause he believes that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind , ..... :)
he doesnt wanna make it a relationship or anything ,but he just wants forgiveness for not realizing her love ...
he just wants her to know that hes really sorry for what happened .....
what will you do if you were her ?
what would you have done if you were him ??

will she forgive or not?
does he deserve it or not??

..... the answers are unknown......
readers please answer your views : ^__^

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