Tuesday, December 7, 2010

A dream ...

This is just a dream that i had today or say was having til dad woke me up today morning.
I got lab exams today n , i duno y , i am writin this instead of stdyng 4 it .
Adjust wid d spelings , typin thru fon :s
already woke up late n dint stdy , bt tis just 1 dream thats kinda spcl 4 me , cause i saw sm very imp people in it.
So hav ta wryte b4 i forget it :]
Its kinda short , but its got d cntent of my lyf itself .
So here goes ,
some1 very imp to me got admitd in a hospital . When i reachd der , the doc cald me to tok smtyn . Then in his rum , he tol , of some1 , who i had lost due to tiny misunderstandings that got so darn complex , cause i dint undrstand er . Doc told , she was here , she tol him smtyn , she was crying.
Once she had a bf who meant so much to her ,that she didnt care about d rest , bt then things changd , he dint seem to care nymore n she was hurt . Then it was u , that she cared about , and u dint even seem to care much , she cried a lot and she left , tellin me to tell this to u , that at that time u wer the only 1 she cared about , bt u dint care n was intrestd in some1 else . That hurt er n she left.
I felt lyk , darn me , i was so dumb n imature then doc , i dint know wat i was doing , i dint knw wat i wantd then ,bt before i chose somethng i usd to ask er stupid qts that hurt , bt i dint knw that it wud hurt . I tried to tel that m sorry a lot of times , jus coz all i need is a bff , n i dint wana luze sum1 so imp to me . Bt she wudnt :( , nt er fault , i knw she cudnt . I can say sorry , but it wunt heal the pain that i caused . I knw i hav been bad , bt nt intentionaly , i nevr knew wt i was dng n wat i wantd . I jus kpt bein frank to all , always telng wat i flt , gud or bad . I wantd to tel er m sory , bt the dream got interuptd :(, i just wish thngs were bk lyk it was , bt unfo thngs wil nevr b d same again :( .

Many a times , v mis out on the gems ryt in frnt of us , lukin 4 gold , :( , n me , i just kpt gng hw fate wantd me to , i dint take ny decisn of my own , always folowd others wil whch was forcd on me. Bt i always tried to flow without hurtng ny1 , smal steps by my side , bt i thnk even that hurt .

The main prob wid me is that i thnk for n against at d same tym , whch actualy prevents me frm doin nythn i want.
I realy wana tel er dat m sory , hopin that she wud feel bettr , but then again my othr thought makes me feel like , deep down inside me , i knw that u cant ever forgive me .
:((
what d hel am i suposd to do nyway?
Even idk :[ ,
makes me feel useles nw :( ,
m sory , realy sorry , u may tel me nythng to do :(
ima do dat :[ , bt plz forgive me :(( .
I dont knw if u may even c this , i dunt realy xpect u to c dis , bt i realy wish u to c it :( .
If u undrstand , oly u wil :] ,
dunt wana write yawr name hea <3 .
Miss u a lot na ,
remember 1 thng ,
whenever u need me ,
u wil always have me ,
i wunt let myself be bound again by fake ties ,
that r atractive to have <3